When people Rush Limbaugh cares about need some help, I want you all to lend a hand. I know it will be hard to do. Considering Rush’s obvious and inflammatory comments about the earthquake in Haiti, I still want everyone to show this fat gas bag what it’s like to be a human being.

Rush was really trying to rip into Obama when he claimed the President would use this horrible tragedy to his benefit. Well I’m pretty sure he will – he’s a politician after all– but even if someone can wield his mighty power to help these people, we’ll take it right? Rush ain’t having it. So if he doesn’t like you, stand on the sidelines and do nothing.

Rush also said, “We’ve already donated to Haiti. It’s called the U.S. income tax.”  That’s a pretty cynical statement from a pathologically cynical and nasty man. But even if you believe this, keep that one to yourself.

I think the wave of apathy toward the situation in Haiti does stem from the fact that the country is a shit hole. No one goes on vacation there anymore because of the crime and rampant AIDS. In other words, it has nothing to offer the U.S. but a hand held out for more cash we don’t have.  People like Rush hate this kind of country: he’d like to go there and score some illegal pain killers, but he’d get robbed leaving the airport and catch the AIDS from whatever teen age girl he had sent to his room.

Pat Robertson, a mentally ill religious nut claimed Haiti was cursed by a pact it made with the Devil many years ago, thus causing this horrific natural disaster. He claimed that when the Haitians were dominated by the French, the whole country had a sit down with Satan who agreed to kick the French out. Things have been looking up ever since. I don’t know what’s worse about this statement: that the people of Haiti made a deal with the Devil, or that Pat Robertson believes any of this. Regardless, he thinks they shouldn’t have kicked the French out in the first place because the country went in the crapper as soon as the white people left.

Again, even if you think that, keep it to yourself right now.

Why anyone is shocked and dismayed by Limbaugh and Robertson’s comments is the real comedy here. One knows exactly what he’s saying and the other has become so paranoid and delusional because of religion, he has no idea what’s coming out of his mouth. But you expect this from Limbaugh and giving him any extra attention for his “outrageous” comments will just make the next poop nugget to fall from his mouth even more ridiculous.

Still, the best thing you can do is the help Rush out. When the roof of the country club collapses onto scores of rich white people, lend a hand. It may just show him that people are people no matter where they live or what color their skin is. And besides, he’s too fat to actually help anyway.

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