Final Broadcast episode 3

Third time is the…..charm? Maybe so. I cover a lot of ground in this episode, talking Netflix rage, Casey Anthony rage, soda commercials, Twitter and Flash Gordon. Flesh Gordon is another show entirely.

Final Broadcast episode TWO






A rousing second show. Fireworks, the problems in Greece, and Arnold screwed us all. In addition to disliking going to the movies, I reveal how much I hate video on websites. Riveting. Plus a breakdown of the current crop of new releases at the theater that I won’t go see. Plus great tunes laid down under my pleasant ramblings.

Final Broadcast episode ONE

Hey folks, this is my podcast Final Broadcast. But it’s the first one…wait…that’s confusing. Anyway, enjoy my first show where I talk about movies, politics, gay marriage, and adult diapers.

Looking ahead: hockey and more work stoppages

new column at AV Club Denver!

Latest at AV Club Denver

My latest column at AV Club Denver. A Rockies funk you don’t want to dance to. For the Jock Itch archive, click here.

Your hyphen is killing me

This might seem like a bizarre thing to complain about but I absolutely can’t stand hyphenated names. And young women who take on these hyphenated names when they get married are betraying just how non-progressive they really are.

My sister is in her late 40’s and she uses a hyphenated name. This is cool because when she adopted her hyphenated name, it was not the in-vogue thing to do that it is now. In fact, it was probably frowned upon in the 80’s for women to do so. The Hilary Rodham Clinton’s of the world were seen as feminist, nazi (feminazis! Oh Rush, you scamp), lesbians who wanted to take down America with their rejection of the usual post-marriage naming rite.

So if you took a hyphenated name in the 80’s or perhaps the early 90’s, I salute you. You’re a credit to your gender and I’d imagine somewhat of a free thinker. But who I don’t salute are the women who take on the hyphen now.

If you’re not over 45 and you have a hyphenated name, you’re a total sell out. It’s a cheap way to seem liberated when you’re really not. Either take your husband’s last name after marriage or don’t. It’s as easy as that. But splicing in your last name with your hubby’s is a wishy-washy cop-out and speaks volumes to your status as a poser feminist.

The hyphenated name now is just too cliché. It’s the go-to for the woman who wants to seem progressive but who really is doing the equivalent to an Austin Powers impression: you’re very late to the party. You want to seem progressive? Keep your fucking last name. As well as revealing who likes Nicholas Sparks movies, hyphenated names are only good for figuring out who the people trying to Friend you on Facebook are. Without the maiden name thrown in there, you’d never know Sally Stevens Hatfield by just Sally Hatfield. Other than that, it’s just a complete waste of time.

So let’s get on the same page ladies. Either take the plunge and become one of your husband’s clan or just keep your goddamned name already. The pretentiousness of your hyphen is killing me.

Atheist Agitation

Going against a lifetime of conditioning is very tough to do. And that’s why being a believer is easy and admitting to yourself there is no God is difficult. The belief in God is simplistic. It’s childlike. Do you want proof that religion, at least in its current form is one of the most ridiculous lies ever told to mankind? People ascribe human qualities to God. God told me that abortion is wrong. God hates fags. God told me to vote for this asshole. Why on heaven and earth would God – considering this mythical being is so all knowing and wise – give two shits about gay people? It’s seems petty and low that someone who is supposed to be so powerful, would even give this a second thought. That is all the proof you need that there is a fundamental problem with the belief in God.

Oh and the simple fact that the people who are the most ardent believers in God are some of the biggest, craziest assholes on the planet. Give me someone who’s calm and rational and not shoving their delusional bullshit down my throat and I’ll at least lend an ear to what they’re saying. Chances are if they are rational, they won’t be trying to sell me on their crazy fantasy about the Magic Man™ in the sky

I recently watched this video (see below) of sick in the head Pro-lifers being stumped by a single question. These creeps are a whole other discussion, but again, I wondered about how they could so easily ascribe such a human trait (oh the poor babies!) to an all powerful being. If God was so concerned about the children, wouldn’t he be rallying his troops to make sure the kids who are born into poverty or to abusive parents be taken care of as well? That would make too much sense and it’s much more difficult to raise a stink for that than it is to attack a lone woman who is making a difficult decision. But again, God taking time out of his busy schedule to infuse these nuts jobs with his small minded wishes just doesn’t add up.

Latest column @ AV Club Denver: TULO!

New column at AV Club Denver on the Tulo signing.

Atheist Agitation

I write a lot about sports, so I wanted to do something different. Politics is too boring and not controversial enough, so I’ve decided to ruminate on something near and dear to my heart: Atheism. Enjoy.

When I hear people drone on about God’s plan or how God is great, I typically tune out immediately. Athletes are the worst. They’re always praising God (except for Steve Johnson who recently blamed God for a dropped touchdown) and talking about his plan for them – usually while they’re balls deep in a stripper or getting a DUI.

Lately when I hear dullards talk about God, I can’t help think that we’re all talking about the same thing. As an atheist, I don’t believe in this Magic Man™ who is taking a keen interest in the lives of even the lowliest and worst examples of humans. I love how the biggest shit bag on the planet will cite God and his “plan” for them. It’s all so convenient. But what I’m referring to is the nature of the universe: how things go right and how they go wrong. Nature and its randomness is really what I believe in – and isn’t that what half retarded religious nuts believe in too?

I say yes. The belief in God is just an oversimplified version of the concept of nature and the natural order of life. We live, we die. Good things happen to bad people, bad things happen to good people. It’s a roll of the dice, a spin of the wheel. Resigning yourself to this fact is scary, difficult to cope with and much harder than believing in a Magic Man™ in the sky. Arrogance comes about when small minded people believe their insignificant lives –in relation to the universe- actually mean something. And that a higher power thinks they are special, even though you’d have to have a gun to your head to come up with a list of why they are.

The ever changing randomness and evolution of the universe is really the miracle here (as well as you surviving in it). When people directly involve themselves, it becomes arrogant and betrays the motivation for allying themselves with God in the first place. Everybody loves a winner and weak minded fools will run with the bully just to save themselves from being exposed. Well you’re going to be exposed eventually because that’s how nature and the universe works. At some point, we all get smacked by the cosmic hammer. It’s just up to you to stay out of its way or minimize the damage.

Dumb people see everything around us and chalk it up to the Magic Man™ in the sky. Less dumb people see it as just being how it is. You have no control over what happens to you. Sure, you can eat right, wear your seat belt and stay out of porno shops after the bars close to minimize your risk, but ultimately it’s not up to you. But it’s not up to the Magic Man™ either. If we could all get on the same page with this, I think the world would be a much happier place. Or at the very least, the porno theaters.

new column at AV Club Denver: No hope left in Broncos country

Latest column at AV Club Denver:

Click here!